To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul, O God. Do not let me be ashamed. Those who betray me will not cause me to be ashamed. Make me know your ways, O Lord. Teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me. (Psalm 25:1-5)
One of the secret prayers of our heart is a for faith. Not a stronger faith or a deeper faith or a resolute faith, but just faith. But often when God actually calls us to take the steps which faith requires, we get scared.
Faith requires things from us we are not always read to give. We get overwhelmed by shame, scared of disappointment, scared of failure.
We want to believe and so echo the words of Paul – “Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.”
God has shown up in so many ways, my faith affirmed and challenged and grown through my life. But I am still afraid. The questions at times can be overwhelming, seeming to hold more truth than the answers. We don’t want to be caught out, found to be lacking or be made a fool. What is God isn’t who I believe God to be?
As I look back over my life, I have never regretted the decision to trust God. There are still questions and still doubts at times, where the small voice in my head wins out over the louder reminders of my heart, my life experiences. But choosing to trust God has never left me in place of darkness.
Carrying the hope of God is a choice we make. Waiting on God is something we have to make the (sometimes difficult) choice to do each morning. Even when we feel foolish, we wait. We wait, even in the face of doubt and fear.
We pray for hope. And for faith, even when it is scary.
Questions for reflection:
Doubt can be a source of shame for some Christians. But doubt is not the opposite of faith, but an essential part of it. Take the power away from those doubts and fears by naming them to God.
Have you ever regretted trusting God?
Prayer: Responding God, make me know your ways. Teach me your paths. Lead me in truth and teach me, for you are my God and my salvation. I wait for you Amen. (from Psalm 25)